Big Q #1 – How do you get out of a situation of peer pressure? What if my friends want me to date a guy but I don’t want to date him? What do I do?
Peer pressure is powerful thing. Sometimes it can be used for good (“Hey, wanna come with me to Kalahari?”), other times it can be less helpful (“Hey, wanna go smoke some cigs?”). The truth is, we are easily swayed by the people around us and what they say. It’s not always wrong to follow the crowd, but where should you draw the line?
The Bible says in Proverbs 29:25 that “Fear of man will prove to be a snare”. The big idea here is this: if you live your life just to please other people, you’ll never be happy – it’s a trap. Don’t let your life be ruled by the “fear of man”. It’s okay to listen to the people around you, but if you find yourself always doing what they say or being overly worried about what they might think if you disagree with them, you might be too concerned about earning their approval. Listen to what Paul says in Galatians 1:10 –
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
At the end of the day, you only have one person to answer to: Jesus. Live His way, and live to please Him. Someday you’ll stand before Him and have to answer for how you lived your life – you won’t ever have to do that before your friends. You should absolutely have good friends and mentors who help you make decisions, but at the end of the day your #1 priority should be to live the way Jesus would want you to. Good friends will understand and support that.
Big Q #2 – My girlfriend wants to make sure we are sexually compatible before we get married. Is that legitimate?
TBH: Sex is awesome. It’s great, fun, enjoyable, and – surprise, surprise – it was created by God to be that way. He is the author of sex and made it to be something that brings fulfillment, intimacy, and pleasure to a marriage relationship between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24).. but when it comes to having sex with someone your not married to, it’s sinful and destructive.
It’s easy to believe that sex is just physical, but it’s not. It’s emotional (girls, that’s why you become so clingy afterwards) and spiritual (that’s why you feel empty afterwards). Wanting to have sex isn’t sinful, but just because you have the desire to have sex doesn’t mean you need immediate fulfillment. Look at what the Bible says in Hebrews 13:4 –
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure”
Sex is made to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. That can seem like a bummer, or that God is trying to ruin your fun, but catch this: God’s plan for you is actually to have the best sex ever. I know it sounds crazy, but by not having sex that way God intended, you’re actually missing out on the best sex that you could have.
When it comes to making sure you are sexually compatible with someone before you pursue marriage, don’t worry about that. God’s best always comes about in God’s way. His plan for you is to enjoy the best sex ever within a marriage to someone who you love and trust. Anything short of that will just leave you with false intimacy, shame, and emptiness when you give your body to someone else. If you really want to make sure you have great sex in your marriage someday, practice self-control and purity now. You can trust God that He has the best in store for you.
Bonus Q – My boyfriend wants to have sex but I don’t want to lose him. What do I do?
Read above ^^^^
Special note from Billy Starkey –
“As a big brother in Jesus to you, I want you to know a few things if you’re in this situation:
- You are a daughter of God and are worth so much more than that
- Your boyfriend doesn’t really value you for you
- He is selfishly more concerned with what he wants than what is good for you
- He is not a real man. A real man would honor you and Jesus with your relationship
- Finally, if he’s pushing you places you don’t want to go, you should drop him like he’s hot, even if he’s hot”
Come back this Sunday night for the 3rd and final week of Grace Students Live!